Why exactly isn't Pete the best choice?

Pete's #1 problem is that no one feels comfortable with his last name

Experience Pete Straight's journey through life's challenges, love, and the relentless quest for happiness in today's politically divided world. You'll leave the theater with not only a newfound respect for your neighbor, but with a rekindled optimism for America's future.

Pete Straight is an electrifying live-theater experience, designed to boost Pete's appeal among straight male Americans, key to his success should he ever decide to run for president again.

By ChatGPT | October 2023

Come and witness the story of Pete Straight as he navigates the modern complexities of life, love, and the pursuit of happiness in a polarized world. Who knows? You might just leave the theater with a new optimism about the potential for unity in America.

Our innovative theater concept alternates between engaging live dialogue featuring human actors and dynamic, large-screen video. Get ready for an evolving show, with fresh updates made nightly, primed to come to life with undeniable energy.

So, without further ado, it is with great excitement that I present to you my first, well, actually fifth, draft of Pete Straight, Scene 1.

God Mic: Pete Straight's career was going extremely well, but he was having a lot of trouble with women. Despite everything, most women still assumed (unfairly, he thought) that he was toxically masculine. And his last name didn't help things much. Honestly, his last name didn't help things at all.

Friend: I get it Pete, you're Pete Straaaaight.

God Mic: She told him after her second drink and then winked a little bit too long.

Friend: God, maybe I should just get back together with Gaston.

God Mic: My fucking last name, Pete thought to himself, but did not say aloud.

Pete: So, tell me more about Gaston?

Friend: Well, we broke up a few months ago, but lately, I've been thinking about getting back together with him. He's really handsome, strong, and has a lot of admirers in town. I feel like maybe I should give him another chance.

Pete: I can understand being drawn to someone who seems popular and attractive, but from what you've told me about him, I think it's important to consider his personality and how he treats you.

Friend: You're right, but he can be really charming, and he's always the life of the party. I keep thinking maybe I should look past his flaws.

Pete: Remember, you deserve someone who respects and values you, not just someone who's charming on the surface. Gaston may be fun to be around at times, but does he truly care about your feelings and well-being?

Friend: I'm not really sure. He can be pretty self-centered and doesn't always listen to what I have to say. But everyone has their flaws, right? Maybe I'm being too critical.

(Video work in progress)

Step into the world of Pete Straight, a compelling live theater act with a crucial mission—to heal political rifts using the infectious power of humor and human connection. Our unique blend of engaging stage dialogues and entrancing, large-screen visuals are designed to unite our diverse nation. We are urgently appealing to you—yes, you—to help Pete Straight reach every corner of our nation. Your immediate donation covers vital production costs, enlists the finest actors and crew, and draws the crowds we need. Together, we can erase the lines of political division and bond through laughter and entertainment. Don't wait. Donate now.

Pete: It's true that nobody's perfect, but there's a difference between minor flaws and behavior that's consistently disrespectful or harmful. It sounds like Gaston's priority is his own ego, rather than building a genuine connection with you.

Friend: I guess you're right, but he does have a lot of good qualities too. He's ambitious and always seems to know what he wants. That's attractive to me.

Pete: Ambition can be a good quality, but if it's paired with selfishness and a lack of empathy, it can be really destructive. Have you considered how Gaston's ambition might affect your relationship or how he treats others around him?

Friend: Well, now that you mention it, I have seen him put others down to make himself look better. And he tends to manipulate people for his own gain. It's just hard to let go of the idea of what I thought we could be.

Pete: I understand it's tough, but you deserve better. It's better to be with someone who genuinely cares for you and supports you, rather than someone who's only focused on themselves. You're an amazing person, and you deserve someone who sees that.

Friend: Maybe you're right, but I still can't shake the feeling that Gaston could change, that he could be the one for me if we gave it another try.

Pete: (sighs) I know it's hard to let go, but change has to come from within. If Gaston doesn't recognize his own faults and make an effort to change, it's unlikely that he will be the person you deserve. You shouldn't have to settle for someone who doesn't treat you with the respect and love you deserve.

Friend: I guess I've been holding onto hope that he'll change because I really care about him. But, you're right. Maybe I should focus on finding someone who's right for me from the start.

Pete: (growing more passionate) I understand how much you care about Gaston, but you can't let that blind you to the reality of who he is. You have so much to offer, and there are people out there who will appreciate and love you for who you are without trying to change or control you.

Friend: I appreciate your perspective, Pete. I'll try to keep an open mind and give myself a chance to meet someone who's truly good for me. I'm going to get another drink. Do you want anything, Pete?

Pete: Sure, I'll have a seltzer with lime, please. Thanks!

Friend: No problem, be right back!

[Friend returns from the bar]

Friend: Here's your drink, Pete. Oh, speaking of dating, I forgot to tell you about Dr. Domination! I dated him a few years ago, and lately, I've been thinking about him again.

Pete: (frowns) This isn't a seltzer with lime, it's a gin and tonic. But never mind that, tell me more about Dr. Domination.

Friend: Oh, I'm so sorry about the drink mix-up! Anyway, Dr. Domination was really into the kink scene, and we had some interesting experiences together. I've been feeling a bit adventurous lately and thought maybe I should give him a call.

Pete: Well, there's nothing inherently wrong with exploring kink or being adventurous, as long as it's consensual and everyone involved feels comfortable. However, if I remember correctly, Dr. Domination had some other issues that were concerning?

(Video work in progress)

Be part of the Pete Straight experience, a dynamic live theater endeavor set on reconciling political differences through humor and genuine bonds. Our formula, blending passionate stage dialogues with compelling cinematic visuals, is crafted to inspire unity in our wonderful nation. We're making an urgent plea for your support. Your generous contribution will enable Pete Straight to extend its influence nationwide, managing production expenses, hiring expert actors and technicians, and attracting more spectators. Let's join forces right now to dispel political division and unite individuals through the joy of comedy and amusement.

Friend: Yeah, he was definitely a bit... intense. But maybe that's just part of his persona? I don't know, Pete, it was such a unique experience with him. I can't help but think about it.

Pete: I understand the allure of unique experiences, but you have to remember that a relationship is more than just excitement. It's about trust, respect, and communication. From what you've told me before, Dr. Domination had a tendency to push boundaries and not always respect your limits.

Friend: That's true. He could be quite controlling at times, and it made me uncomfortable. But maybe he's changed since then?

Pete: Change is possible, but you need to consider your own well-being and safety first. If you decide to reconnect with him, make sure you set clear boundaries and have a thorough discussion about consent and limits. Keep in mind, though, that his past behavior might be indicative of deeper issues.

Friend: You're right, Pete. I should be cautious and think more about what I want in a partner. It's just so tempting to chase those thrilling experiences.

Pete: I get it, but a healthy relationship should have a balance of excitement and stability. You deserve someone who can provide both, without compromising your safety or well-being. Remember that there are plenty of people out there who can share your interests and still treat you with respect and care.

Friend: Thanks, Pete. Your advice always helps put things into perspective. I'll think more about what I really want and need in a relationship before making any decisions.

Pete: (sighs) I just want you to be happy and safe. Look, if you're considering reconnecting with someone from your past, why not give Mr. Sexy another shot? He seemed like a more stable option compared to Gaston and Dr. Domination.

Friend: (laughs) Mr. Sexy? I haven't thought about him in a while. We did have some good times together, but I don't know, Pete.

(Video work in progress)

Jump headfirst into Pete Straight, an innovative live theater production fervently committed to healing political differences through the power of wit and real human bonds. Our approach—melding spirited stage conversations with impressive, wide-screen visuals—is a call for unity across our diverse nation. We're reaching out to you with urgency. Your generous donation will help Pete Straight take its transformative performance nationwide, covering crucial production costs, employing proficient theatrical staff, and attracting the large crowds we need. Let's join forces to transcend political divides and unite through the shared joy of laughter and spectacle. Your immediate contribution is vital.

Pete: (encouraging) It might be worth revisiting the relationship to see if there's still a spark. Maybe you two could have a fresh start and build something new together.

Friend: That's true, but remember that fancy dinner Mr. Sexy took me to right after he told everyone else in the entire state of California that they shouldn't be allowed to have fancy dinners? It was such a power move, but it really turned me off.

Pete: (frowns) Oh, right. I forgot about that. Yeah, it concerning when someone's actions don't match their words. You want a partner who's genuine and trustworthy, not someone who contradicts themselves like that.


Goal: Make politics fun
Earn: $50/hour (including rehearsals)
Location: Washington, DC

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Friend: Exactly. As attractive as Mr. Sexy was, I can't see myself being with someone who doesn't stick to their principles. It's just too inconsistent for me.

Pete: (nods) I understand. It's important to find someone who shares your values and is consistent in their behavior. It seems like Mr. Sexy might not be the best fit for you after all.

Friend: Yeah, I guess you're right. I need to keep searching for someone who's a better match for me in terms of values.


Goal: Make politics funny
Earn: $50/hour
Location: Washington, DC

Apply Now:

Pete: (smiles) That's the spirit. You deserve someone who truly aligns with what you're looking for in a partner. Just remember that it's okay to be patient and take your time.

Friend: Thanks, Pete. You mean so much to me. I'll just have to keep looking and hopefully find someone who's truly amazing.

Pete: And I'll always be here for you, every step of the way.

(Video work in progress)

Step into the transformative world of Pete Straight, a live theater performance driven by the essential mission of bridging political gaps through humor and connection. Our unique blending of passionate stage dialogues with visually captivating, large-scale displays is designed to bring our nation closer. But we need your immediate help. Your generous donation will allow Pete Straight to take this powerful message from coast to coast, defray production costs, secure the most passionate actors and crew, and reach more hearts and minds. Please, let's join together to blur political lines and bring our nation together through the joy of laughter and entertainment. The time to donate is now. Click here to contribute.

Friend: (laughs) You know, Pete, if only I could consider you as an option, we wouldn't have this problem! But of course, that's just not possible.

Pete: (laughs) Oh, really? And why is that?

Friend: Well, you know! You're just... you're Pete! It would be too weird.


Salary: $100,000/year
Location: Washington, DC

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Pete: (sighs) It's funny how we keep going back and forth about all these guys with obvious flaws like Gaston, Dr. Domination, and Mr. Sexy when the solution could be right in front of us. If things were different, of course.

Friend: (laughs) I know! It's a shame. We get along so well, and you're always there for me. But, alas, it's just not meant to be!


Salary: $100,000/year
Location: Washington, DC

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Pete: (smirking) Well, I guess you'll just have to keep searching for your Prince Charming among those other guys. What a tough choice you have to make.

Friend: (playfully) Oh, stop it! You're not making this any easier. But seriously, Pete, I appreciate all your advice and support. I'm grateful to have you in my life, even if we can't, well, you know.

Head of Finance

Goal: $2,000,000+ in net revenue per cycle
Salary: $100,000/year
Location: Washington, DC

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Pete: (smiles) And I'm grateful to have you, too. No matter what, I'll always be here for you. I just well, I just hope you find someone who makes you as happy as I could, you know?

Friend: Thanks, Pete. And who knows? Maybe someday, I'll find someone who's just as amazing as you, but in the right way for me. Until then, I'll keep exploring my options.

Finance Director

Goal: Raise $50,000+ per month
Salary: $2,500/month + 10% of what you raise
Location: Flexible

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Pete: (pleading) Please, just promise me you'll think about what I've said and really consider the best choice for your happiness and well-being.

Friend: I promise, Pete. I'll take some time to think it over and try to make the best decision for myself. I appreciate how much you care and the advice you've given me.

Pete: (relieved) Thank you. I just want you to be happy and with someone who truly deserves you. You're an incredible person, and I'll always be here for you, no matter what.


Goal: 50% publicity and 50% fundraising
Salary: $100,000/year
Location: Washington, DC

Apply Now:

Friend: I know, Pete. I'm grateful for our friendship. It's good to have someone who will be honest with me and help me see things from a different perspective.

Pete: (smiles) You've got this. I have no doubt that you'll find the right person, and when you do, I'll be there to celebrate with you.

Experience Pete Straight, a live political theater performance dedicated to bridging political gaps and resolving disagreements using humor and genuine connections. Our approach blends on-stage dialogues with captivating, large-screen visuals to encourage unity throughout our amazing nation. By generously donating, you'll help Pete Straight reach stages from coast to coast, covering production expenses, securing skilled actors and crew members, and attracting larger audiences. Let's join forces to dismantle political boundaries and unite individuals through the joy of laughter and entertainment. Click here to donate.

As time runs thin and the stakes grow ever higher, we plead for your input. Your viewpoint is more than just important—it's the lifeline we need to make the right creative decisions. Your voice will fill the void. What thoughts and perspectives can you share right now, when we need them most?

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Prepare for an electrifying journey, one that merely begins with this draft script and unfinished videos. This is just the overture of a symphony of creativity that promises to evolve into a grand spectacle, captivating all of America with its wit and warmth.

As ingenious human minds weave the narrative of Pete Straight with zest and humor, audiences will swiftly fall head over heels for the irresistible character, reveling in every moment.

Be more than just a spectator—be a part of this transformation.

Politics is, well, it's a popularity contest.

What if American politics was as much fun as an episode of White Lotus?

What if - all of a sudden - every straight man in American realized that having a gay man serve as president didn't only make sense, it was the only possible way to move forward?

What if each and every heterosexual man across the United States grasped, with a gut-punch realization, that the only way to drive this nation forward was by supporting a gay man for the presidency? What if they suddenly saw, with piercing clarity, the absolute urgency of this undeniable truth?

By ChatGPT | October 2023

Amidst the tumult of divisive politics, America is yearning for a leader who understands the diverse needs and aspirations of its people. A leader who can bridge the generational and political divide could help heal the nation, drive meaningful change, and foster a more inclusive and harmonious society.

This candidate is none other than Pete Buttigieg.

Pete's previous presidential campaign in 2020 showcased his potential. Despite not clinching the nomination, he made an impressive showing, proving his mettle in the political arena.

His military service, a testament to his dedication and resolve, could attract support from both Republicans, who appreciate strong military leadership, and Democrats, who value his commitment to public service.

Now, let's talk about Pete as a family man. Pete is a loving husband and a doting father of two adorable children. He's the embodiment of the quintessential family man, a quality that resonates deeply with Baby Boomers who value strong family units. Simultaneously, his authenticity as a loving dad appeals to Generation Z, who crave genuine, relatable leaders.

It doesn't stop there. Pete’s got another ace up his sleeve: As a former consultant at McKinsey & Company, he's been immersed in the world of business strategy and technological innovation.

This gives Pete a distinct edge in understanding AI's role and potential societal impact. With this knowledge, Pete is poised to champion policies that promote AI innovation, prioritize workforce retraining, and ensure AI is used ethically.

Dive into the dynamic universe of Pete Straight, a live theater production with an urgent goal—to mend political divides using the power of laughter and genuine connection. Our innovative fusion of compelling stage conversations and stunning, large-screen visuals aim to unify our magnificent nation. Your immediate donation is crucial—it will enable Pete Straight to go national, manage production costs, hire talented actors and crew, and draw larger, more diverse audiences. Please, let's unite and transform the political landscape through the shared joy of humor and performance. We urgently need your support. Click here to donate now.

Imagine it: Pete Buttigieg, making history as the first openly gay president of the United States. It's a landmark moment that electrifies the Progressive Left and the LGBTQ+ community.

Pete's potential presidency is more than a step forward; it's a monumental leap for representation and inclusivity, shattering one of America's last remaining glass ceilings.

Yet, beneath this wave of excitement, there's an undercurrent of nervous anxiety. Could Pete's sexuality, as much as it is a point of pride, become a stumbling block among certain demographics, particularly straight male voters?

Welcome to Pete Straight, a pioneering political spectacle that aims to captivate every American by offering a blend of original comedy, insightful discussions, and innovative AI technology.

The journey to the White House has never been this much fun.

In collaboration with experienced political consultants and advanced AI, we will craft a dynamic and engaging program that highlights Pete's policy proposals, his life experiences, and his unique charisma.

But here's the twist: every element of the show will be infused with humor and wit, designed to delight every member of our diverse audience.

In developing Pete Straight, we've sought inspiration from unexpected quarters. One such source is HBO's surprising hit, White Lotus. This series tackles contemporary issues around culture and sexuality, never shying away from its complexity.

Discover Pete Straight, a theatrical experience focused on bridging political divisions through humor and real connections. Our engaging blend of stage dialogues with captivating, large-screen visuals is an urgent call for unity across our incredible nation. We're on bended knees, pleading for your help. Your generous contribution will enable Pete Straight to touch stages nationwide, cover essential production costs, employ top-notch actors and crew, and attract larger crowds. Together, let's dismantle political boundaries and connect people through laughter and entertainment. Please, we urgently need your donation. Give now.

By weaving its provocative themes into compelling narratives, multifaceted characters, and sharp humor, White Lotus allows viewers to see aspects they resonate with, laugh at, and fall in love with the show as a whole.

This strategy of running towards sensitive topics - rather than hiding from them - encourages viewers to engage with the content on a deeper level, promoting shared enjoyment.

So let's tackle the elephant in the room: anal sex.

Historically shrouded in societal taboos, it is an aspect of sexual pleasure that has largely remained unexplored by America's heterosexual couples. However, with the presidency of Pete Buttigieg, we stand on the brink of a sexual revolution.

The normalization of anal sex in America, driven by open and candid political discussions, could open up a new world of sexual exploration and pleasure for straight men. It's a seismic shift that could completely reshape the dynamic of American relationships.

Embark on the Pete Straight journey, a unique live theater experience committed to healing political disparities using wit and genuine bonds. Our format, combining lively stage exchanges with impressive, wide-screen visuals, aims to inspire unity across our beautiful nation. But we're urgently reaching out to you. Your prompt donation will help Pete Straight reach every corner of the country, offset production costs, engage professional performers and crew, and draw larger audiences. Please, let's come together to erase political division and unite through the shared joy of comedy and amusement. We urgently need your support.

Now, consider the potential benefits of a president who isn't constantly preoccupied with deciphering the desires of straight women. Imagine a leader whose attention isn't divided by female distractions, whose focus is solely on leading the nation to the best of their ability.

It's a tantalizing prospect. A president like this could devote their energy to policy-making, leadership, and governance without the complicated dynamics of heterosexual relationships clouding his judgement.

This isn't about suggesting that a gay president is inherently superior. Instead, it's about acknowledging that a leader who is not mired in the expectations and complexities that come with heterosexual relationships might bring a fresh perspective and undivided attention to the duties of the presidency.

In this vein, Pete Straight isn't merely entertainment; it's a revolution. It's a beacon of change that could redefine societal norms and expectations. As the nation holds its breath, we wait to see how this groundbreaking show might usher in a new era of acceptance, exploration, and unburdened leadership. The stakes are high, the anticipation palpable, and the potential benefits immense. The tide is turning, and it's turning extremely fast.

Engage with Pete Straight, an electrifying live theater production focused on resolving political differences through laughter and authentic interaction. We marry thought-provoking stage dialogues with stunning, large-scale visuals to encourage unity across our remarkable nation. But we need you. Your immediate donation will help Pete Straight go nationwide, manage production expenses, secure professional actors and crew, and reach bigger audiences. Please, let's band together to tear down political fences and unite through the magic of comedy and entertainment. We're pleading for your urgent action. Click here to donate.

Pete Straight is no ordinary show. It's a meticulously crafted, adaptable, and transportable powerhouse of political and comedic dynamism, custom-designed to pop up in locations across America during the pivotal 2024 election year.

The genius of Pete Straight lies not just in its content but also in its format. While the cast remains consistent, script and videos are inherently flexible, allowing the show to evolve and adapt.

This innovative approach serves multiple purposes. It allows Pete Straight to stay fresh, engaging, and relevant, but it also creates a myriad of employment opportunities.

Each performance will serve a dual purpose: to entertain and to enlighten. To make audiences laugh, yes, but also to introduce them to Pete's vision for an united and prosperous America.

Pete Straight is more than just a comedy show. It's a grassroots movement that employs the power of laughter and storytelling to inspire political change. We're about harnessing the power of entertainment to engage people in the political process.

With Pete Straight, we're not just aiming to win an election, we're transforming the political discourse, one laugh at a time.

Plunge into the soul of Pete Straight, a riveting live theater performance crying out to bridge our political divides through the irresistible power of laughter and genuine connection. This immersive blend of on-stage dialogues and mesmerizing large-screen visuals isn't just a show, it's a desperate call to unity for our precious nation. Right now, we're reaching out to you, pleading with all the passion we can muster. Your immediate, generous contribution could propel Pete Straight onto stages from coast to coast, funding essential production costs, securing our brilliant cast and crew, and attracting an even larger audience. We are imploring you, become a force for change. Your donation can paint a future where laughter and understanding erase political boundaries. The clock is ticking, and our plea is fervent. We need you to take action right now—your support is not just wanted, it's absolutely critical. Please, let your contribution be a beacon of hope. Donate.

We are on the brink of a pivotal moment and your swift response is our only hope. It's not just an ask; it's a desperate call for your feedback, which could prove to be our guiding light. Share your ideas with an urgency that matches the intensity of this critical juncture. What's your immediate stance on the matters at hand?

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Pete Straight is more than just a show – it's a new way of doing politics. By combining humor, policy discussion, and advanced AI technology, we are creating a platform where every American can connect with Pete and his vision. This strategy allows us to reach beyond the traditional barriers of political campaigning, offering an experience that is engaging and enjoyable for all.

Pete Straight, a live-theater event, seeks to dissolve political divides and discord through comedy and connection. With engaging stage conversations and vibrant, large-screen visuals, we aim to promote unity in our wonderful country. Your kind contribution will enable Pete Straight to grace stages across the nation, funding production expenses, recruiting skilled actors and crew, and expanding our reach to wider audiences. Join us in tearing down political barriers and bringing people together through the magic of laughter and entertainment. Donate right away.

Paid for by When Democrats Turn Out PAC. Not authorized by any candidate or candidate's committee.